I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
