Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
