she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
