oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
