is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
