She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
