I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
