He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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