I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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