I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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