The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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