your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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