Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
