I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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