my sisters under your porch take her home
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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