Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize