Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
