ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize