For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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