Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
