i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just pee around me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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