Already got asked if we're dating
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
