i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
