a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
