I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
