it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
