Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
