So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
