Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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