I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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