when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
