Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
