Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize