Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
