she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
