I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
