brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
