Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
