every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
