dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
