He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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