My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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