I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't deserve a penis
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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