i jhust puked up my retainher.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
