it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
