I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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