I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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