Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
