The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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