escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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