Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
