Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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