guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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