He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
