So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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