Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
