Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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