operation have a gay friend backfired
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
