i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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