The police scanner is talking about you again....
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
