I just cut my nipple shaving
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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