So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
