By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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